Perhaps for me the biggest lesson these days is letting go. Letting go of my idea of how things should be. Letting go of why everything is happening. Letting go of resisting life.
Life is powerful, infinite and ever present. I can’t understand it. I don’t know what is going on. But I have experienced one thing for sure. Resisting life is painful. At every corner of a day there are things that I can resist and every time is painful. I can not stand the pain anymore.
I am saying all of this from a very positive perspective. I am not depressed at all. Not anymore. I am not giving up on living at all. Perhaps more than ever before I am engaged. I am doing what I can everyday. As little as it can be. But I can not resist everything that is out of my control. I don’t have the bandwidth to fight it anymore.
I have resisted a lot for the most of my life which created a lot of pain. I ended up in a really dark and lonely place. I don’t want to go back there anymore. I am here. I am watching with eyes wide open but with no judgement. I don’t know what is going on but I am witnessing something infinitely glorious.