This was the day that everything changed. We went for a trip to Philip Island with couple of our friends. When nobody was looking we were holding hands. We didn’t even know what was happening. The start of something beyond our wildest dream.
Life is funny. Life feels like a dream. Older I get, easier it gets for me to let go. It is so mysterious and elusive. It slips through you fingers. Just like light. You can never grasp it or hold it. You can only experience it. But never own it, hold it, keep it or predict it.
The are so many mysteries in life. Even a simple thing can become really complicated. And sometimes a very complicated thing is very simple in reality.
I have no idea what I am talking about. But something is propelling me forward to keep writing, making and sharing. So I am going to do it. I have no idea where things are going. I have no idea what is unfolding. But I am sure of one thing. I can’t stop and just ponder anymore. I need to keep making and sharing. We will all together find out what this is. or maybe not. I don’t know. I know I love making. I love writing, drawing, taking photos and building.
Recently the resistance has been very loud and persistent in trying to stop me from doing. But perhaps after a very long time or maybe even for the first time in my life I don’t care about it. As I have said in one of the previous posts, it just wants me to stop. But I am not going to. I have paused a lot of things in the last few years. It didn’t get me anywhere. Instead I am going to keep moving.
This creative pursuit has been a serious obsession in my life. I am not even sure if it is healthy or not. It just is. All the people that know me closely are familiar with what I am talking about. This force has been present in my life for a very long time. And I have been too scared to give it expression. I even tried to let it go and forget about it which obviously didn’t work. So there is only one option left. And I like it. But I need to keep reminding myself every time which I am making something new. I wrote about all of this in one of the previous posts. But now I need to work through it for this one again. It is unbelievable.
I find writing about it very helpful. Writing about it feels like a relief. Writing has been an incredible tool in figuring this thing out. I totally recommend writing as therapy. Writing would help you see what you are thinking about.
Anyway, this is getting really long now. All I wanted to say was that sometimes feels really difficult working through all these doubts and insecurities, but I am doing it. Moving and making is way more fun than just standing on the sidelines and thinking what if. Been there, done that. It ain’t no fun. So no matter how hard it gets, just keep going. Have faith and trust it.